Man faces benefit sanctions after listing occupation as “full-time legend” on Facebook

A workshy shirker could lose his entitlement to Jobseekers’ Allowance after nosey Department of Work & Pensions staff noticed his bold online claim of full-time employment as a “legend”.

Archibald Gimpfist, 27, of Whitehaven, entered the details when signing up to the social networking site – and is now left with a gruelling wait to find out whether his arrogance will impede his ability to consume four daily bottles of Frosty Jack’s on the taxpayers’ dime.

A spokesperson for the DWP said they couldn’t comment on individual cases, but went on to mention that the official definition of a legend is “being famous for doing something. Slaying dragons, that sort of thing. Not sitting in your grubby little pants repeatedly watching The Fast & The Furious on pirate DVD.”

At the time of going to press, The Shitehaven Views understands that Mr Gimpfist has 28 days to change his Facebook occupation status to “workshy fop” in order to appeal the sanctions and retain his entitlement to free stuff.

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